What I’ve Learned
[ This assignment was modeled after the Esquire column of the same title. Posted February 2007]
What I’ve Learned:
1+1=2
I hate scary movies; I get nightmares too easily. They say “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”, but I’ve eaten two apples a day and the doctor’s still around… Without people to laugh and cry with, life wouldn’t be worth living. Desperate times do call for desperate measures. One thing I never understood is how O.J. Simpson got off…. So the glove didn’t fit, none of my gloves fit me either. It doesn’t count if you crossed your fingers. Never trust a pinky promise; pinkies are pulled apart too easily. ….Ok, so I have a slight trust issue. When I was little I used to run around my older sister screaming “Tormenting!” I always thought I was being silly and that everyone thought I was adorable; then my mom gave me a little brother. Something I learned just recently is that mom’s have the best shoulders to cry on. Live life to the fullest because you never know when yours will be over. I always wanted to live in Willy Wonka’s Workshop with the Golden-Egged-Geese, the oompa-loompas, and the CANDY. I’m sure glad my mom never let me, because at this point I’d look like Augustus Gloop. The future scares me sometimes… All the uncertainties make me uneasy. I learned a valuable lesson last year when I broke my wrist, when you’re falling land on your butt; don’t reach your hands down. Fat Albert taught me that “falling is easy, it’s getting up that’s the hard part.” No matter what you can count on two friends to always be there: Ben and Jerry Kenny Chesney is a genius.
Live. Laugh. Love