The storm day
So once Troy burned to the ground (thank god!), Aeneas began his journey towards Italy to a spot that would one day become Rome. I tried with all my might to prevent this, but it seems I do not control the fate of others as I would like to.
Anyway, as the Trojan leader started his journey I decided that I would try to stop him. I called on Aeolus, god of the winds, to stir up a storm.
“Aeolus, my darling, how good it is to see you!” I said.
“Ah finest Juno, how may I be of service?”
“I need you to unleash some of your finest in the direction of the Trojans. Could you be a doll and do that for me?”
He agreed and lo and behold the winds destroyed much of his fleet and he cried out to the heavens in distress. Haha! I was so delighted to see the Trojans suffer once more. But my brother Neptune (the swimmer of the family) sent back Aeolus’s winds and said the sea was his domain. Then cry-baby Venus comes over to my darling husband and brother.
“Make it stop! Make it stop!” She cried. “Jupiter please end my baby’s suffering. He is destined to find
Rome and mean Juno is getting in the way.”
I was somewhere hiding in the clouds when I heard this, and I was outraged. This stupid whore was getting in the way of my plan, and Jupiter, being the pushover he was, agreed to help her. So I would later need to come up with other plans to stop Aeneas form reaching his destination and kingship.
I then tried to stir up my people the Phoenicians to hate Aeneas and the Trojans, but lame little Cupid came out of no where and shot his stupid little arrows that made queen Dido fall for the mud-blood Aeneas. I went to Jupiter:
“Honey, you can’t let her do this! It’s running all my fun. You barely excite me anymore and you know it! Let me have my fun.” I cried.
“Now now baby, what is done is done and you and I both know we can not change fate. So let Venus watch over her son if she wants. What is cast is cast.”
He is so good with words sometimes (PHYC!). Anyways, my plan to mess with Aeneas was diminished for now, but I had other ideas up my sleeves (but those seemed to fail too. I hate it when Jupiter is right).