Sentence Handbook
[This is a compilation of grammatical and vocabulary rules. The examples follow the voice of a female flight attendant]
Sentence Handbook: We Are Now Boarding All Passengers
This is my sentence handbook. It is a compilation of grammatical rules, themed examples, and oft. misused words. I wrote this handbook in the voice of a female flight attendant. My aunt was a flight attendant for four years and she told me many stories. A lot of them are of the sexism she experienced from men on flights. She was disrespected a lot but did not let any of it burn her. My examples purely reflect ideas she told me with some creativity on my part. I chose this voice because I think flight attending is an interesting profession that could run into many bizarre situations. Hope you enjoy.
Period .
1. The period is used to mark the end of a declarative or an imperative sentence.
You don’t have to show me the tattoo you received on a business trip in Tampa sir.
Adjust your seats to the upright position please.
2. A sentence with two periods is a nonexistent sentence.
If I had gone to med school, like my father wanted me to, I probably wouldn’t be on a 10-hour flight to Mexico City.
Every time I bend over to receive lunches for passengers, I catch the pilot staring at my ass; he should really keep try and stay focused.
3. If parenthesis house a freestanding statement, a period will follow the statement inside the end parenthesis.
I saw a baby vomit all over the aisle floor. (I hope I’m not on cleanup for this flight.) O good… I am on cleanup.
4. The period always resides in front of the end quotation mark, when dealing with a quote.
The stressed mother angrily mumbled, “I wish I was in stupid first class.”
Question Mark ?
1. The question mark is used after a direct question:
Did you just call me “sweet cheeks?”
Would you like the fish or the meatloaf?
Are you flying first class today?
2. A request politely phrased as a question doesn’t need a question mark:
Would you kindly return your seats to the upright position?
3. A question mark only goes inside the parenthesis or quotation marks when it is part of the quoted or parenthetical material:
As the confident young boy approached the younger lady (Do you think she’ll accept my offer to the club?) he thought over what he would say.
The very confused younger lady asked, “What’s the mile-high club?”
Exclamation Point !
1. The exclamation point is only used after an exclamatory word, phrase, or sentence.
Good god! I’m afraid of heights!
2. An exclamation point goes inside the parenthesis or quotation marks when it is part of the parenthetical phrase or quote:
“Can’t this drunk, naked man sit somewhere else!” yelled the annoyed, emotionally traumatized lady.
The plane left without me (They said they needed me!) and I grew very disheartened.
Comma ,
1. The comma is used between a set of independent clauses which are short and have no commas in them:
Her motto always was, watch her “soaps”, gossip with her coworkers, and then serve the passengers.
Buckle your seatbelts, turn off all electronics, and prepare for takeoff.
2. The comma is used between two independent clauses which are joined by coordinating conjunctions, such as “and,” “but,” “or,” “nor,” “neither,” “yet,” or “so.” However, if the first dependent clause is extremely short, no comma is needed:
I’m too smart to be vacuuming plane aisles, but the job does pay well.
He was clicking the attendant button by accident in his sleep, so I went back to my station.
I was hit on by the pilot and a passenger.
3. The comma is used after a dependent clause (a dependent clause can’t stand alone as a sentence), usually a fairly long one, which comes before an independent clause:
When I bent over to pick up a dropped spoon, the old man who had dropped it had a heart attack.
As the heart attack victim was being rushed to the hospital, he whispered “What a butt!”
4. Two or more verbs having the same subject (a compound predicate) are not to be separated by a comma:
The pilot walked to the cockpit and flew the plane.
If I get a promotion I’ll be cleaning the plane and serving meals.
5. Use commas to set off the thing, or things being spoken to in a direct address:
Hey you, Jessica, you may be new but if you don’t get your act together I’m going to report you.
Excuse me, Mary, I think Jessica is stealing from sleeping passengers.
6. Appositives-words that follow a noun or pronoun and help identify it-are set off by commas:
Michael McDonald, the hit singer/songwriter, is playing non stop on the radio.
Jessica parker, the new attendant, just swiped a watch from the heart attack victim!
7. A comma is used between two adjectives when they modify the same noun:
I hate flights to Denver, because the pilot is always this disgusting, fat mess.
I tried to soothe the nervous, sweating man before take-off.
8. No comma is used between the adjectives when the first adjective modifies the idea put forward in the second adjective and the noun combined. This rule is opinionated:
He came up to me with a sleazy big smile.
After smiling at me, he gave me a gross obvious wink and handed me a five.
9. Use commas to set off mild parenthetical phrases and interjections that obstruct the flow of the sentence:
Well, I would have never thought you expected to have sex with me Mr. Wafner.
Yes, I slapped him across the face and took the money anyway.
10. Three or more elements in a series must be separated by commas, and a comma comes before the conjunction that separates the last two:
While looking out the window, I saw Barns, Mills, and Cows.
When I looked in the pilot’s eyes, I saw veins, stress, and drowsiness.
11. Commas are used to set off conjunctive adverbs, such as “however” and “moreover” and “therefore”:
I think you’re a very attractive man. However, I can not suck your toes sir.
Moreover, I would lose my job if I was caught.
12. Commas go inside quotation marks but they go outside and at the end of parentheses:
“I want you to suck my toes,” said the persistent, creepy man.
If you want to keep your toes (and I’m sure you do), you’ll get them out of my face!
13. Commas are used in separating parts of an address, and names of geographical places or political divisions:
Anne Hunts, Attendant, Flight 302, Alaska to Australia, will assist you with anything you may need for the most comfortable flight possible.
Semicolon;
1. A semicolon is used in place of a comma when a significant break in the flow of the sentence is needed. Usually, semicolons are used between two independent clauses in a compound sentence:
Stay seated; I’ll be right back with your gin and tonic sir.
I often wear my flight attendant skirt very short; it’s a way to get tips when I bend over.
2. A semicolon is used before an adverb that separates two clauses in a compound sentence:
I love children; However, must your child run around the aisles screaming.
I was sick of Jessica stealing, thus I set up a trap.
Colon:
1. The colon is used to introduce a part of a sentence that explains, restates, or exemplifies the preceding part. There is no need to capitalize the word following the colon:
My job has been a stressful one: I’ve been hit on, winked at, and overall harassed every day.
I’ve been working hard for my money: These red-eye flights are killing me.
2. The colon can be used to introduce a series or a list. Make sure you keep the elements in the list in the same grammatical construct:
There were three types of guys I tried to flirt with: rich ones, filthy rich ones, and ridiculously rich ones.
Before work I went through the same routine: Take a shower, get my uniform on, spray some perfume on my neck, and get ready to flirt.
Hyphen-
1. The hyphen connects the parts of some compound words used as nouns or adjectives:
Being a poorly-respected, bow-legged flight attendant, I have to use all of my womanly gifts to please the passengers.
2. The hyphen joins compound numbers from twenty-one, to ninety-nine and is used to express fractions:
I sat and watched two kids play twenty-one questions for the eight hour flight!
Before the man got through one-third of his fish meal, he threw up from food poisoning.
3. The hyphen connects a long list of adjectives that modify a noun, especially when the hyphenated phrase was coined by the author of the sentence:
My persona, the respected-intelligent-sexy-motherly figure is a good role model for young women…I think.
Dash–
1. The dash shows a break in continuity or thought in a sentence. A dash is a tad bit stronger than a comma. On most computers, the dash is fromed by typing two hyphens- so that it literally looks like a dash. There are no spaces before or after a dash. Dashes can be used at the beginning or end of sentences:
I’ve been trying to focus at work—Is it time to serve lunch yet?—I just need to get my stuff together.
Women should embrace their curves—that’s if they have them.
Parenthesis ()
1. The parenthesis is used to enclose loosely related explanations or comments:
We’ll be there (in Hawaii) in about an hour and a half.
Don’t be frightened (by the turbulence) we’re just going through a cloud.
2. A parenthetical sentence within another sentence does not begin with a capital letter nor end in a period. A freestanding parenthetical sentence in the body of a paragraph requires parenthesis, a capital letter, and a period inside the closing parenthesis:
I bet Jessica’s already stolen (She doesn’t have any morals) about 10 pounds of jewelry by now. (I’m going to leave a watch on the floor and video tape her taking it.)
Ellipsis …
1. The ellipsis is used to indicate an omission of a word, a phrase, or a sentence (or more). To form an ellipsis you make three dots with spaces before and after each dot. By clicking three periods next to each other they will usually automatically space out. To indicate more than a sentence has been left out, put a period after your ellipsis and don’t put a space before the first dot:
I almost vomited in my mouth when I heard the man say, “Hey beautiful! What do you say after we land you and I go on a date … You can spend the night at my place if you’d like.”
After I collected all the lunch trays I tripped…. I noticed my leg hurt after the plane landed.
Quotation Marks “”
1. Quotation Marks surround quoted material and the titles of smaller works like poems, short stories, and essays. However, the titles of major works– like books, movies, plays, and magazines—are generally italicized or underlined:
I sometimes feel like the narrator from Walt Whitman’s poem “White Man’s Burden,” when I’m trying to teach passengers children manners while eating.
On the six hour trip to Cancun, I tried to read the book Beloved, but I couldn’t get through the first chapter.
2. Single quotation marks are used when a quotation is embedded within another quotation. The bracketed phrase [sic] means that the author of the sentence is pointing out an error in the original quotation so that the reader doesn’t assume the writer is at fault:
“I was walking to go clean the bathroom when I heard a voice say ‘Oh my gosh I think I’m gonna [sic],’ I knew it was going to be a long flight.”
Apostrophe’
1. The apostrophe is used to indicate possession by adding ‘s to all singular subjects even if the subject already ends with an s. For most plural subjects, merely add the apostrophe to indicate that the entire group has possession of someone or something. The apostrophe can also be used to indicate the omission of a letter or letters in a word that has been turned into a contraction:
When Jessica stole Mr. Marks’s watch, I had to wake him up and alert him to the theft.
I hate this plane music! I wish we could listen to some Rock ‘N’ Roll.
Bracket []
1. The Bracket is used to enclose material that has been added or altered to a quotation by the author of the sentence. This is usually for clarification:
The flight attendant handbook says “The Attendant should always respect the passenger [Even the sleaze-balls] and make sure they have an enjoyable experience [by flirting your ass off].
Back slash /
1. The back slash is used to indicate a line break when the author is quoting from a poem or lines from a play in verse form:
When I witnessed Jessica steal her third object from Mr. Marks, I couldn’t stop thinking of a scene from merchants of Venice, “He hath disgraced me and/ hindered me half a million, laughed at my losses,/ mocked at my gains.”
Oft Misused Words:
Affect vs. Effect
If you’re referring to a thing, or a noun, almost all of the time you mean effect (result). If you mean an action, or a verb, almost all the time you mean affect (to influence):
The effect of Jessica being caught stealing from passengers, was that she lost her job and wasn’t allowed on US air for 20 years. Her losing her job really affected me. I had gotten to know her and would miss her company; plus now I have to work overtime!
Then there’s the rare time in which you use effect as a verb, and affect as a noun. When effect is used as a verb it means to bring about or to achieve:
The harassment suit Megan reported lead to the effect of the new policy in which we couldn’t make physical contact with the passengers.
When affect is used as a noun it is a psychological term for a feeling:
When I take of my uniform and slip into a hot bubble bath after work, I show a lack of affect, as I fall into relaxation.
Accept vs. Except
Accept is always a verb that means to receive or to agree. Almost all the time, except is a preposition or a conjunction and it means other than:
We’re not supposed to accept tips from passengers, except when the passenger is in the business class.
Rarely, except can be used as a verb, in which it means to exclude or to leave out:
Usually flight attendants aren’t allowed to call passengers by their first name, but when an attendant has been with US air for over ten years they’re excepted from this rule.
Lie vs. Lay
Lie is a verb and it means to tell a falsehood. Lie is also an intransitive verb (one that does not need an object) and it means to recline or to rest in a comfortable position. Lay is a transitive verb and it means to put or to place something:
Everyday I lie to my boss and tell him I love my job, but what I really want to do is be America’s next top model. I sometimes lie in my bed and see the models in my People magazine and wish I was them. I have to lay the magazine down sometimes because I get so jealous.
Principal vs. Principle
Principal is a noun that means either a sum of money invested or lent, or the head of an institution. Principle is a noun that is a rule of conduct:
I should have listened to my principal and become a lawyer, I love law. Instead of taking the Barr and following the code of lawyers, I’m following the principle that I must wear makeup and serve fish and chicken. My friend thinks if I reinvest the principal I have from working overtime, I can afford to go to law school soon.
Quote vs. Quotation
Quote is always a verb that means to repeat someone else’s words verbatim. A quotation is a noun that is the material being quoted:
In my letter to my boss, in which I requested off work on Christmas, I quoted a few Christmas carols to try and get him in a Jolly mood. I think he enjoyed the quotations because he awarded me more time off.
Hanged vs. Hung
Hanged and hung are both past participles of the verb hang. Hanged, is only used to refer to executions with a rope; hung is used in all other instances to mean suspended or held up:
When my Boss found out about Jessica stealing, she might as well have been hanged. She told me without this job she’s going to be homeless and her life was ruined. When I heard this I hung an envelope with 500 dollars in it in Jessica’s locker, so when she cleaned it out she’d get the money.
Farther vs. Further
Farther designates literal distance, while further designates a degree of distance.
With the new policy I have to stand farther away from the passengers. One time my coworker caught me letting a man spank my behind and she just muttered “further, further,” in a joking tone.
A lot
A lot is a two-word phrase, and that is non-negotiable.
As much as I joke about flight attendants in this assignment, I have a lot of respect for them, and a lot of strong feelings against sexual harassment. A lot of these quotes are drawn from real situations my aunt experienced when she was a flight attendant.
My Oft Misused Words:
Censor vs. Censure
Censor is a verb which means “to edit” or “to take out.” It usually pertains to pieces of writing, or language.
“Sir, I ask that you censor your language. The little boy in front of you heard you yelling curse words and now his mother can’t get him to stop using the F-word.
Censure is a noun which means “an expression of disapproval, or blame.”
I showed Jessica a censure when I first caught her stealing.
Tale vs. Tail
Tale is a noun which means “a story, or anecdote,” or “a falsehood.”
I listened to the ex-marines tales of top secret missions while I served him a Pepsi.
Tail is a noun which means the “rear end of a growth extending from the rear end of an animal,” or the “back or last part,” or the “reverse of a coin.”
I could tell the lady had brought a cat on the plane because the cat’s tail was sticking straight out of the lady’s bag.
Which vs. Witch
Which is an adjective that means “being what one or ones out of a group,” or “Whichever.”
Which drink out of our large selection would you like?
Witch is a noun that means “a person believed to have magic powers,” or “an ugly old woman.”
I heard the co-pilot on this flight is thought to be a witch. I hope she doesn’t cast a spell on me.