I found a better picture of my death on Wikipedia. I like to browse it when I’m not working on my six-pack. Yeah, that’s right, my six-pack. Ignore the gut in the picture in my last post because right now I’m going for a washboard. Anyway, I’m much more conservatively dressed in this one, while Neoptolemus looks like a little trollop. Maybe I’ll tell Achilles he was being cheeky in more ways than one.
Though, there was way more blood than that. Those look like little scratches, but it was seriously a lot. I was reading the review for some made-for-TV opera about me, called King Priam, and one review said it was good, “though seemingly obsessed with blood, territorial rights, pride of ownership, war and domination.” A-duh? Who isn’t? It sounds like a good film in my book.
Also, even though you can’t see my face in that picture, I look like I’m in way better shape. Actually, I’m pretty skinny, and no one’s ever described me as overweight, although that may have something to do with the fact that I was the last King of Troy or something. Mostly people say I remind them a delightful British character actor. Here’s my most recent picture.
That’s my puppy dog face. Whenever Hecuba’s all up in my face saying things like, “But Pree-Pree, you’re too old and feeble to go fight with the young men. Not Hector though, he’s a strapping young man,” I make it and then she backs off a little. She’s never exactly said that, but you get my point. Still though, I feel like she likes Hector better than me AND our ninety-nine other kids. You’d think it would be hard to play favorites with that many.
